Everyday for five minutes...

There is this or that? What I thought I wanted or what I have experienced? This situation or that one? I use to think I wanted you. I use to think I wanted to be married. I use to think I wanted that family. I still feel it. Mornings are lonely. The pulling is still there. If I move through it, it goes away. Nights are easier because I am exhausted. I try to find ways to make my mind forget. I don't know if you will ever go away. I don't know if that is what I want. I don't know whether it would be right or wrong. I feel it's forced. So forced is how it will be. I find myself sitting for hours contemplating will this happen or perhaps that? I am in love with love. I love to be held, touched, looked at, hugged...I love to laugh, play, flirt,dance, sing...I want to cherish someone and I want someone to cherish me. So I wish.